Stacy-Lee Lessell

29th July 1973 - 30th September 2017

RIP My Darling Younger Daughter 

I love and miss you beyond words can say

Hi,

I know it's been a really long time.  But I know a lot of you know how ill our younger daughter had been.  I'm really sorry to say that she passed away 6 weeks ago and was in hospital for 3 weeks before that in the Intensive Care Unit of Watford General Hospital, who were exceptional and really tried their very hardest to save her.

To say we are gutted is putting it mildly.  She was my baby and my best friend.  I know we really looked alike and were very alike, so we really shouldn't have gotten on but we so did.  I miss her so much and really have had my moments.  I think about her as I wake up and for the rest of each and every day.  It's so very hard because it's not the way it's supposed to be.  I'm the mother and Larry is her father and we should have passed away first.

I got a phone call from the hospital at 11 am that morning to say that she just wasn't going to make it and to come as soon as possible.  The problem was James (her brother) and my lovely daughter-in-law and younger grandchildren were all in Synagogue and I had no way of getting in touch with them then because it was our most religious day of the year - Yom Kippur which also happened to be a Saturday.  I knew that although it is a fasting holiday the children wouldn't be fasting and Danielle would take them home and feed them.  So I got hold of her an hour later and she got a message to James and they and our elder daughter Sara-Jane and her ex-Husband and children joined Larry and me at the hospital.

Stacy was laid to rest the following Tuesday, which isn't as fast as we usually bury our dead but it just couldn't be helped.  And whilst we would normally sit Shiva for 7 days and evenings which prayers at around 20:00 each evening we could only sit Shiva for 1 day and night because the next day at sundown Sukkot  started and one is not allowed to break the Shiva for a holiday and then start sitting again after the holiday finishes.  Wish we could have because one day wasn't really enough. But rules are rules.  Anyway my Mom passed away on first day Sukkot so I had to light yet another Yahziet candle in remembrance of her death.

There were in excess of 200 people at the funeral and the even more at the Shiva.

Sara-Jane is on the Left

Dad is in the Middle Top

I'm in the Middle sitting

Stacy-Lee on the Right next to me

James is on the Left next to me

See you soon Patricia xxx
American by Birth and MOUTH
but British in every other way

I know this isn't soon but ....

Hi,

I've really been away from here, except for the odd post but now I'm really back and sewing on my newly opened sewing machine that I purchased about two and a half years ago. It's been quite a trial with it I can assure you. I have been using sewing machines on and off for a very long time.  I don't suppose you remember but I purchased a Brother something or other 30 and it is now obsolete. If I was sewing clothing on it, it would have been perfect. Or if I'd opened it up when I bought it I could have returned it for something more suitable for quilting, but I didn't!

I have bought more feet for this machine because it came with nothing quilting related!  I purchased the feet over the last couple of years and some more than once and some are useless. Anyway I found out that a quarter inch foot, of which I bought many are no good anymore as you really need a scant 1/4" for all the patterns that are about. The last but one thing I bought was this

But it didn't work, because I had no way of making sure it was a real scant 1/4" and guessing isn't my best thing.  Finally, I found a thing that works beautifully and some tape that even with my shaking I am able to sew perfect scant 1/4" seam.  YAY!!!

Onto the next.  I have been in a quilted postcard swap which I didn't need a scant 1/4" seam for and the first one I sent out last month was this one which was meant to represent summer holidays.  Well seeing as we aren't going anywhere this year I figured that a garden scene would be perfect and I absolutely loved making it and the receiver of it said nothing has fallen off (which I was worried about) and that she loves it.

This months, which is being posted on Monday are these two.  They are supposed to represent song titles.  One is really easy

Whilst the other isn't - except to say it was written and sung by Cat Stevens:

You can guess the titles if you feel like it.

I am so glad to be back and sewing again.  

Stacy still isn't good but she's still here with us for which I am eternally grateful.

See you soon
Patti xxx
American by birth and MOUTH
but British in every other way

Time to say Bye xxx

As much as I have loved this blog in it's day it is now time to say bye.  Too much is happening and I'm spending too much time on my computer and not enough with the people who matter or the things that matter.  So it's been a good run but

Bye and see you on Facebook or Pinterest.  My pinterest name is pattimyself and on FB it's Patricia Lemberger Lessell.

Patti xxx

NIL by Mouth

This is my favourite quilt and I want to make
one for Stacy but larger so it's a lap quilt.

Sorry there still isn't any quilting, apart from the photo above, but more important things are happening in my life.

My poor Stacy is still in Watford General Hospital and it's now 3 and a half weeks! If you remember it started with a Crohn's attack and a chest infection almost 4 weeks ago.

Larry and I have been ill since last Tuesday so that was the last time we saw her until today.  We have spoken to her every day. 

We still aren't well but she was really fed up and I could tell, because she texted me yesterday not to phone so I got really upset and didn't sleep at all last night.  I tried everything to get to sleep but it just wasn't happening.  I texted Stacy but no answer.  Finally I phoned around 10ish and she sounded absolutely awful.

What did I do?  I thought sod it just go there and spend 5 minutes with her but don't get close.  Also to take up my Kindle because her one has stopped working even though it's only a year old, if that.

So we both got dressed and Larry took me because he hates the way I take off and put on the wheelchair from the car and the new hoist is so slow it's like a turtle and I'm not very good at it to be honest, but I'm only telling you guys.  Larry NEVER reads FB he thinks it's terrible and he never reads my blogs either, so I'm safe so long as YOU don't tell him.

I went in and Stacy was hooked up to two new drips and was totally out of it.  She is also nil by mouth which further concerned me as it means she isn't taking any of her medication.

I asked the nurse what was going on and if the Crohns team had been to see Stacy, because Stacy told me they were coming.  The nurse looked at me like 'and who do you think you are?'  So I said to the nice nurse 'I'm her mother'.  The nurse stepped back and apologised and said 'Sorry, I thought you were her sister.'  I can take that. Don't know how Stacy would feel about it.  Does that mean she looks really old or I look really young.  I'll go for the second option, but really don't think I do.

The nurse told me that the surgeon and his team were coming tomorrow to discuss what to do as Stacy was still in a lot of pain.  I really didn't take that well at all.  I told her that under no circumstances could they possibly operate because she has, apart from everything else, PVOD.  The Nurse had absolutely no idea what this was.  Surprise Surprise!  I explained the basic ins and outs of it but am still not sure she understood me.  She gave me the phone number of the ward so I, Larry, could phone in the morning and let the day staff know exactly what is wrong with her and to warn the Surgeons that if they operate they will kill her.

Stacy was sleeping this whole time except for when I tried to wake her up by gently shaking her leg and she opened her eyes and I left her an Apple plug and my Kindle, which I can manage without because I have other ways of reading - like my phone which is fine to read on. But I'm not sure she will remember I was there.

When Stacy is awake she really is fed up with being in hospital and I certainly don't blame her.  She isn't well and has spent most of the last 5 months in one hospital or another.  It really sucks!!!  And I really feel for her.

The whole thing is truly heartbreaking.  I so want her to be able to go on an unforgettable holiday and I so hope she gets better soon to be able to go.  The pledges have stopped because my goal was reached, but I didn't think they would and I hate being greedy but as my son said I should have checked how much everything was going to cost before I put a sum up.  I just thought of a number and away we went, regardless if the amount is enough or not.

Please get better soon my Stacy because we love and miss you, and if you were well we would be seeing you all the time but we don't want you to get sicker by catching whatever we have.

All my Love Forever

Mum xxxxxx

See you soon 
Patti xxx 
American by birth and MOUTH 
but British in every other way

Please Help If You Possibly Can

This photo was taken 2 years ago when
Stacy was better than she currently is.

Please help if you possibly can.  Our younger Daughter, Stacy, has been ill for most of her life with Crohn's Disease which is debilitating to say the least.

However about 12 weeks ago Stacy was diagnosed with PVOD which stands for Pulminary Veno-Occlusive Disease.  This disease is so rare it is rare even in the realm of rare diseases, and always terminal with a median time of 2 years from diagnosis.  However Watford General Hospital knew she had Pulminary Hypertension last June, so we have no idea how long she has had this for.  This disease is so rare that only 1 in 10,000,000 - yes you've read this right it's one in ten million people have this.

This has been really awful for all of us, but especially for Stacy, and all she wants is one last holiday with her family, but we don't have the resources to give this to her as we are both just Pensioners on the State Pension.

One night when I couldn't sleep I suddenly thought of Crowd Funding by Just Giving so I have made a page for her where you can donate anything from £10.00.  Every single donation will be so gratefully received.  Here is the link to our page.

Thank you so much for even reading this and we are really grateful for everything donated.

Patti xxx
American by birth and MOUTH
but British in every other way

I know it's been a really long time

I know it's been ages, but so much has happened in our lives it just isn't true.

Our younger daughter Stacy, middle child - well woman really, had been ill for quite some time with Crohns, amongst other things, and every time she was admitted to our local hospital instead of waiting to see if she was actually having a Crohns attack they just put her on intravenous steroids.

I don't know if you are aware, but, as usual, there is a price to pay for everything you put in your mouth - be it food or medicine.  Well the upside of steroids is they cure whatever ails you quite fast but the downside of them is they can cause all kinds of nasty things.  So along with the Crohns she now has had, for quite some time, Osteoporosis, Avascular Necrosis of both hips (this means they are dead), had her left hip replaced twice and it still isn't any good, the surgeon who replaced it both times left her without a left hip for 9 months. She also has Fibromyalgia and rotting teeth, which all have to be removed, and Watford General Hospital, or somebody there, told her she had a heart murmur.

Call me stupid but I thought you were born with a heart murmur and it wasn't something that just happened later in life.  She does not have a heart murmur.  It turned out she had something way worse.

The last time she was discharged from WFGH, in June, they said that they would refer her to Hammersmith Hospital.  Well nothing happened.  And she kept on getting really swollen up.  She looked like she was on steroids big time, but wasn't.  Her whole body was so swollen it was untrue, so much so that she was unable to even open her eyes because they were swollen shut.  Finally she called our local doctor and he took one look at her and made an appointment for her to be seen at Hammersmith Hospital on Monday 17th August.

An Ambulance took her to Watford General Hospital on 31st July, and Larry and I went before her to complain and wait for her to arrive. Stupid us, we didn't complain but just waited there for two hours for the ambulance to bring her.  We had our two eldest grandchildren with us and Stacy eventually arrived at around 5pm.  At 6 we left Stacy there and took the children for something to eat. The children and I got back to the hospital around 7.  At 1a.m. a doctor came and said that there was nothing they could do for her because it was the weekend and there were no doctors on and if they admitted her she would not make her appointment on Monday at Hammersmith.  I was so angry and I told the doctor that if anything happened to Stacy over the weekend I was holding her 100% responsible.  Didn't seem to even phase her.

Stacy was admitted to Hammersmith Hospital on August 17.  We were told later that week that what she had was rare even in the realm of rare diseases and it affected around one in 10,000,000 people and that it was incurable.  Well I've lived with Multiple Sclerosis for many many years and that's incurable so I thought so she'll manage.  What we didn't know until the following week that what, in fact, she has is a very rare form of Pulmonary Hypertension called PVOD which, well you can read it for yourself because I sure don't want to go into the ins and outs of it and cry I shall be doing again.

Stacy was in Hammersmith Hospital for 8 weeks and we went every day and sometimes twice a day there and back so she could go out and have her hair done, out for lunch a couple of times back to Watford, and have her nails done as the polish had to come off for a procedure.  It was about a 35mile a day journey if we went there and back once a day.

But I have to say that as bad as Watford General have been over the years that's how good Hammersmith were.  And when we explained that her Gastro doctor at Watford had put her down as a Hypochondriac, and we believed him I'm ashamed to say, the new doctor who is amazing said she was anything but and was in fact a very sick young lady - well she looks young.

This is why I've been missing for so long and why my sewing machine is still in it's box and all the rest of my stitching hasn't been touched.  No matter how much I want to do something I just can't.
 
See you soon
Patti xxx
American by birth and MOUTH
but British in every other way

No explanations

I will be gone for a while due to stuff happening in our family.  But I shall be back sooner or later.

See you soon
Patti xxx
American by birth and MOUTH
but British in every other way

I know it's been months and months but ....

... I haven't been great and I haven't even opened my machine yet.  It is still in it's box.  Why you ask?  A very simple answer really.  You see on my old machine - well it wasn't old exactly but I did sell it because my dumb arm and hand quit working and with it I sold the best thing I have ever had for a sewing machine.

What is it you ask?

Well this really nice guy from the States asked me if I would like to try out his lighting for sewing machines and instead of the light just focusing on where you sew it lights up the whole sewing area.  I am endorsing this lighting method because I know it's really great and the reason I haven't opened up my machine is because when I sold my other machine I couldn't get my Ecolux Light off, so I didn't have it anymore!!!  I so didn't want to use a machine without it.  Once you have tried it you will never ever want to sew without it.  Here it is for you to see.  I sure wouldn't be without mine that's for sure.  You can buy anything from 3 LED lights up to 9 LED lights and you will never be disappointed with it.   The lighting is just GREAT as only LED lights can be.

Scott has told me that they have now have a new baby within their arsenal of greatness. And it is this:

As well as having a normal power supply to your electric sewing machine you can now plug it into your USB port, that is, if you have a sewing machine that has one.  Me?  I have absolutely no idea if mine does because I still haven't opened it, but I shall soon and share what I am sewing, and there is so much I want to sew quilt wise it just isn't true.

Not only is Scott from Ecoluxlighting sending me a new light for my new machine but he is also sending one for my European readers to have.  Trust me this is the best thing since sliced bread and I love sliced bread - especially with Peanut Butter and Jelly (that's Jam to you Brits) on it.  I also like Peanut Butter on Ryvita too.

I know this last bit of info was more than you needed but hey I just had to share.

So if you click on the Ecoluxlighting logo on the right of this blog it will take you to Scott's website (I hope).  Maybe I ought to put it here too just in case I'm wrong.

Ecoluxlighting

See you soon
Patti xxx
American by birth and MOUTH
but British in every other way

I'm all grown up

As you will see from the title of this blog I reckon I'm grown up. Maybe and maybe not.  But I have decided to go by my full name on here and my other blog anyway.  I like it.  I've been Patti since I was 10, Patricia before that and after 16 I became plain old Pat which I really don't like.  So what's this all got to do with quilting? Absolutely nothing.  But I thought I would explain how grown up I am now.

If you look to the right hand side of this blog you will see a brand new icon thingy.  It's called Farmers Wife Quilt Revival Class and apparently Karen Walker who teaches this class for The Farmers Wife quilt, which is something I've wanted to do for ages, is just the best class so what can I lose but a little money?  Nothing.

Almost everyone knows about The Farmers Wife

which I have owned for years and years, and I decided because I can't figure out how to get a scant quarter inch seam on my new machine, what with all the quarter inch feet I've bought for it, I figured better be safe than sorry and have a lot of help.  So I've joined this class (icon to the right) and also a Farmers Wife Board on FaceBook which has all of the templates if you want to stitch your quilt using paper piecing which I really like doing because everything is so perfect this way.

Anyway (that's instead of So) I have downloaded and printed the first 5 blocks from the FB Group and now I'm going to look at the first of 10 or 11 lessons that I have bought from Karen Walker and I'll let you know soon which way I like better.

I've also learned a different way of paper piecing without have to rip the paper off.  It is ingenious!  Just watch and see!!  Now why didn't I think of this first?!?

After I put the above on on here I found a slightly better lessons, that is broken up into two parts, if you want to paper piece (foundation piece).  It's cheaper to do (uses wax paper) and is so easy. Also there is no tearing and you can hear better as the one above is really hard to hear - sorry about that folks and no you aren't going deaf if you listened to the first one!  I just think that Karen takes more time and explains everything that much better, in my humble opinion, but you can make up your own mind.

As you can see I've included Part 2 of Freezer Paper Foundation Piecing (ok paper piecing to the British public).  But it really is the best way. Well I think it is and you can turn any pattern into a paper piecing pattern too.

You'll be delighted to know I'm done for now, so what I will say finally is ....

See you soon (hopefully)

Patricia xxx
American by birth and MOUTH
but British in every other way

I'm Baaaaaack

Hi

If you've gone I really understand why.  It's been 10 months since I last posted but I've got my mojo back now me thinks and it's all because of this quilt that I saw.

I sold my sewing machine last year because I was never going to sew again.  And for this reason I also sold my Acquilt machine but there is a very lovely patchwork store quite near to me that rents out their large Acquilt machine to people and I shall go and use their machine if I need to.

So I was never going to sew again.  Not anything.  Never again.  I was going to be a couch potato because I was so very depressed, although I didn't realise at the time.  The death of my brother really saw me go into the depths of depression.  I don't know why because we had never been close but still.

So here is my new sewing machine. For the first time I knew what I wanted.  A machine that just sewed - nothing fancy but I wanted it to thread itself really and this does.

So I have bought a new sewing machine which is sitting in it's box upstairs and has been for months.  Guess I was still depressed.  I decided to start cross stitching again with a vengeance but my thumb, of all things, has stopped me doing anything.  But it's going to be fixed on Monday (hopefully).  So everything will be a go again.

I do crazy things when I decide to stop doing anything.  When I decided 5 years ago to stop stitching I sold my overlocker which was also a Brother machine so I had to buy another one when I decided to start stitching again because I don't like raw edges and I really am a type A personality and everything has to be pretty perfect or I quit.  So I bought this again:

I told you a young lady in the States with 8 children and one husband gave me my mojo back because I really loved her quilt and this is it and it has everything about it that I love.  So I'm going to share a few photos of it.

So what do you think? I love it.  And shall start it as soon as darn thumb is fixed.  My thumb is a really weird trigger thumb insofar as it should be bent inwards towards my palm.  But is mine??? OH NO!!!  It's sticking straight up and hurts like anything if I try and bend it. So by next week everything will be up and running.  From my mouth to g-d's ears.  If not it will be by the week after when the very lovely surgeon I first saw will do a little tiny op on my thumb and make the darn thing work again.

Thank you so much for those of you that stayed with me over the past 10 months hearing nothing.

See you soon
Patti xxx
American by birth and MOUTH
but British in every other way

My Brother Brian

This is my brother Brian with his granddaughter Meran

Brian was almost exactly 4 years younger than me, minus 4 days, and although through the years we hadn't been close, for which I was always sad.  We went to see him in February and I found it quite extraordinary how alike we are.  I suppose I should have expected it as we shared the same parents but siblings aren't always alike.  We look alike and were very alike in so many ways.

I had known my brother has been dying for quite some time.  He was given 3-6 months almost 6 years ago when he was told he had stage IV cancer and had had it for at least 3-5 years before it was discovered quite by chance.

Like me, Brian believed in finding a doctor who was proactive rather than being reactive and such doctors aren't so easy to find.  But he managed to find one that kept him alive for almost 6 years.

The growth was on the outside of his stomach and he decided to go an unusual route insofar as after interviewing quite a few Oncologists he decided on an Oncologist who specialised in Pancreatic Cancer as this Oncologist gave him the best chance of a cure.

But his route was not an easy one as the treatment was for Pancreatic Cancer and not Stomach Cancer so his insurance company refused to pay for it.  Brian paid for it himself for the next 5 years at over $1,000 a week.

A year later when he was in hospital having half his stomach, and the tumour, removed the nurses couldn't figure out why he was so happy. He explained that this was because he was still alive when he shouldn't be.

Because of his determination in beating this cancer and the route he took this medication is now funded by insurance companies in the US for Stomach and Bowel cancer as well as Pancreatic.

I'm sorry if this email is disjointed but I couldn't read it and put it together properly because my brother passed away last Friday and was buried on Sunday as our religion dictates.

Brian you beat the odds.  You didn't just last 3 or 6 months but almost 6 years.  You fought long and hard until the very end.  We came to see you in February and we spent every day with you and Sue (your wife) and my nieces and nephews and great niece.  It was the best time we had ever had and I will always remember it and be grateful that I came to see you when I did.

Brian Michael Lemberger you were one very very special person that touched many lives as the Rabbis said at your funeral and my life a life.  I respected you as man, as a brother, husband and a father.

I miss you my brother and will until the day I die

Pat xxx
American by birth and MOUTH
but British in every other way

Miss C & Mr R

As you all know we (almost said I there) have 4 grandchildren.  The youngest of which is Miss C.  My darling son and daughter-in-love introduced their best friends quite a few years ago and they got married and had 3 sons.  The middle son is called Rafi.  Here is a photo of Rafi with our youngest Chloe soon after she was born:

So he loves her.  He would hug her all the time and kiss her cheek.  Now roll forward a year and this is what we had:

They are snogging.  He's holding her and she's holding him in a full on clinch and they are kissing for all they're worth.  Almost full on snogging (it might have been because we can't see between them).

Okay so roll on another year until yesterday and this is what happened:

  

Now we have a problem (not really)!  She has instigated this one.  It's so cute and all I've said is I love it and hope I live long enough to see them get married.  So Daddy (DS) said to his best friend all in caps "tell your son to get his hands off of my princess!"  But from where I'm sitting it's she that is attacking him this time and not the other way around.  Grandpa said "I hope he can afford to keep her".  Me?  I replied that I hope so too but if he can't then she will just have to work like the rest of us.

I can't wait to see what next year brings.  I will bring you photos of either the rest of the children whom I adore with all my might or else some knitting or piecing or something.  Might even be stitching.

See you soon
Patti xxx
American by birth and MOUTH
but British in every other way